Of all the thoughts floating around in my head, I finally found one that makes some kind of sense...

I am never not in thinking mode. Yes, it is exhausting. Yes, I run my mind in circles trying to figure out things that probably are not meant to be figured out. Yes, it is raining outside and I don't want to walk the 8 minutes back to my dorm room. I've been meaning to write this down for a while and now seems like just the right time.

I'm torn. I am a human being, I make a lot of mistakes. When things go wrong, I love to say, "Everything happens for a reason." The more I think about it, the more I question it. Maybe it's just 'a feel good, you really can't do anything wrong quote.' 'Cause that's what we're saying...whenever something bad happens, we learn something. That quote however, implies that we have a destiny, a pre-determined fate. I'm not so convinced. We are blessed with the gift of free will. We can decide where we go, what to do, and who we think makes the best company as we go through our short time here. It is impossible for me to believe that our OWN choices, good and bad, lead us to the same place no matter what. I cannot say that some people were simply destined to be depressed...destined to be unable to smile...destined to always be alone, to never know love...destined to lose the one they love...destined to die at a young age...anything, everything. We have the strength to change our lives and the lives of so many others, we just have to find the faith in our individual choices, we just have to create the wind that will let us all spread our cautious wings and fly.

This is what I believe; We live to learn, and we learn to love. From the first moments of our lives we are nurtured by the love of our families. That lasts a lifetime, maybe even more than that. We meet new people, we learn from them. Learn about them, learn about ourselves. And in time, We find ourselves asking how we ever lived without them.

These people that we surround ourselves with make such a big impact on the people we become... so, to the ones who loved me from the beginning, who taught me the significance of love, who let me love them with all I could, who have held me when it hurt , who spend their days smiling with me no matter where we are, and who will love me until the very end...I hope I can make you proud, I hope I have taught you just a fraction of what you've taught me, of what you're all still teaching me, and I hope you will always know how much I love you.