Quite simply...but never simple...Me.

"The power of thought is far greater than most people ever realize..."


I wrote yesterday that I am who I am. Well, I started thinking...you can say anything you want...there are no rules about words and there are no rules to help you decide if someone is being true to the core or whether they are wearing a mask. That's the hardest part isn't it...having the courage to put all of your faith in someone...praying that every moment you're believing in them is worth it in the end. I never want anyone to question me, ever...because I know how badly it hurts to realize that someone isn't being real and honest. So consider this my proof.

My room is my scrapbook. Scattered pictures, posters, poems, quotes...messy, just like my life...daring you to ask, just like my voice...and full of inspiration, for it is what I seek...The walls and ceiling are covered with pictures and words that describe who I am, what I love, who I love, and what I live for.
An entire wall is dedicated to my friends and family; the ones who have been there from the beginning and who I know with all of my heart will be there until the very end.
I have all of my books. I am a total and complete bookworm. I surround myself with love stories and fairy tales full of adventure, romance, hope, and strong characters whose lives, while never easy, are always worth the pain. I have to believe in fairy tales. I have to believe in love. While we live in a world that is so evidently run by power and money...it is not those things that keep the world alive. The yellow glow of a sunset, the freedom of a mountaintop, the calm of the moonlight are all brought alive in our minds by becoming symbols for warmth and love, trust and faith, and hope and dreams. Open your eyes and look at the world. Cherish every sight, take the time to look for the beauty that is always there, waiting to be brought to life.
I have the posters; "Dream" and "How to be an Artist" hanging to greet me every morning that I wake up, hanging to remind me that no matter what the day has in store for me...I know I will always look forward to my dreams, that I will always have the strength to ask why? and that I will always seek to create and NEVER just accept. We breathe life into the world, we frame beauty in our minds, we seek love in our hearts...but only if we stop and take the time to. It's not a race...it's not about who is going to be the most well-off...it's about who is going to live the MOST.

"Love is where you Find it...Look for it...Everywhere."



Last but certainly never least. This last picture is of my 17 year old rock-star baby brother, Cory. He is so often, not that I could ever tell him this, my motivation to be the best person I can be. I want him to someday be as proud of me as I am of him even now. He's millions of steps closer to his dreams than I am to mine simply because he won't ask what if...and that's because he refuses to fail. He doesn't sit there and ask himself where he's going to end up, or why things happen or don't happen. He lives every second for JUST that second. He has the spirit of the baby brother I've always felt like I needed to protect, but the mind of someone far beyond his 17 years. We could all learn from him, probably myself more than anyone else. I hope that wherever he ends up he knows that I always have and always will stand behind him and that he has inspired me above all else.

So there you are. This is Me.

I Am Perfectly Imperfect because I Am the Perfect Me.

oh hello blogging world. long time, no post. im back. well, for at least today...

"The question you should be asking yourself isn't whether or not you will get a Happily-Ever-After...The question you should be asking yourself is will you be able to live with yourself if you don't allow yourself to have a happy-now...and end up with nothing at all?" [Karen Marie Moning]

It's 4:16 in the morning, I have to wake up at 10:30, and I can't sleep. Surprise Surprise.

And surprise surprise, I'm thinking about happiness. Only this time, I'm thinking about what it means. It took me a long time to realize that I could be happy, that I AM happy...but now I find myself asking if I really know what it means to be happy. People measure happiness by a smile because they can see it...but I don't think that's enough. People can fake a smile. You can't fake what you have written in your eyes. The problem is, most people don't take the time to look or they are simply too terrified of what they might find there. Lies are a buffer, that's why the world is so full of them. It's perfectly logical, what kind of individual, in their right mind, would want to feel pain of any kind?

I can tell you exactly what I have written in my eyes...and I'm realizing that being happy is being unafraid to say it out loud. Being happy is taking who you are; every thought, flaw, dream...and being willing to see every opportunity for its possible worth.


My eyes will tell you exactly who I am if you're willing to look just a little deeper. You'll find a girl who makes sure the world knows she's strong...even when she's hurting, even when she loses sight of the little girl she's always held onto, even when she's afraid.

She's hurting because she wants to see more. She's every bit of the dreamer she was when she was little. Magic and immortality are real, they just don't mean fairies and spells anymore. She's afraid that she'll always be alone because it's all she's ever known.

None of that means that I can't be happy, I'm not afraid to tell the world because I have to believe that as I learn from everything I have been blessed to see and do that things DO change. No one and nothing can stop me from being happy as long as I believe in who I am. I am who I am. I am blessed. I am a dreamer. I am a writer. I am a poet. I am a student. I am a friend. I am a daughter and a sister. I am stubborn, occasionally impatient. I am free and hopeful. I am honest to a fault. Each of us are composed of a unique combination of traits and talents. A beautiful mosaic all our own. Be proud. Be alive. Be happy.

"You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is All you own."

I didn't start saying "Perfectly Imperfect" for nothing. In the grand scheme of things, it's just a fancy way of saying be yourself; honestly...without hesitation...perfectly. Oh, and of course...happily.

Moments in Life.

My mom sent this to me, one of those messages you forward to everyone in your mailbox...the ones that claim that if you don't you'll have bad luck for x number of years(this one doesn't) or some nonsense like that. Normally I delete them, but this one is different. I don't know who wrote it, but it certainly gives you something to think about.

There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!
When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive,
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
when you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.