New Beginnings.

Just finished my first homework assignment of the new semester! Philosophy and the Human Being...definitely not the science pre-labs I'm used to...not that I'm complaining, it took far less time than what I'm used to. I feel oddly optimistic about this semester, which is nice. Enough about my mundane school-life, I just wanted to write about optimism.
All last year, I did nothing but stress. Stress about my homework and my grades, my complete lack of a social life, the constant time crunch, the anxiety of being kept in the same place(which makes me a little crazy), combined with not having any idea what I want to do with my life after I graduate college. I was worn out after just a few weeks, caught pneumonia, missed class which created more stress. I was tired and almost always upset. I was NOT myself.
Somewhere along the way I lost track of the happy-go-lucky youngster who kept faith in herself and faith in the world that things would be okay.
O.K. now enough about my mundane school-life.
What everyone should do is keep themselves thrilled. Find something everyday that makes you wonder, something beyond your physical self. I had a dream where someone told me that I looked at the moon like I wanted to hold it in my hands to make sure it would not break. I feel like that is how I should keep my optimism, somewhere I can always see it.
The world isn't black and white but I think that's a good thing. Isn't gray far less intimidating anyways?

My Inspiration.

This blog is completely inspired by an email that I received yesterday...funny enough...the email was sent by the person who was the very first to inspire me and who has always inspired me more than anyone; My Mom.

Some days, we go along smiling because everything IS ok...even if underneath it all we're feeling more than a little bit alone. Sometimes, an individual is lucky enough to have someone who knows that more often than not there's more than meets the eye. I'm always more sad than happy to return to school, I'm not going to deny it. I miss by best friends from high school who know me better than anyone, my Dad who always knows how to make me laugh, but I think more than anything, I miss my Mom.

Through the past two years I've come to realize that I don't need to be sad. That my friends and I are capable of picking up right where we left off and that my Mom is a constant presence that reassures, encourages, supports, and loves me no matter what; even on the days when she's telling me through the phone that I'm the reason for the gray in her hair. Through it all she has taught me to fight, to hope, and to love because in the very end that's what you take with you.
I still remember being a curious little girl finding a quote that she wrote, "Days like countless autumn leaves go by. Love only is eternal, Love only does not die." It's true and it's all we need.

"Hi Sweetheart...

I miss you already. My thought for the day for you. Ability is what you are capable of. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. Know that I am always with you in spirit, that my heart will always hear yours, and that I am always on your side.

I love you!!

Mom XOXO"

I wish everyone was as lucky as I know I am.