oh hello blogging world. long time, no post. im back. well, for at least today...
"The question you should be asking yourself isn't whether or not you will get a Happily-Ever-After...The question you should be asking yourself is will you be able to live with yourself if you don't allow yourself to have a happy-now...and end up with nothing at all?" [Karen Marie Moning]
It's 4:16 in the morning, I have to wake up at 10:30, and I can't sleep. Surprise Surprise.
And surprise surprise, I'm thinking about happiness. Only this time, I'm thinking about what it means. It took me a long time to realize that I could be happy, that I AM happy...but now I find myself asking if I really know what it means to be happy. People measure happiness by a smile because they can see it...but I don't think that's enough. People can fake a smile. You can't fake what you have written in your eyes. The problem is, most people don't take the time to look or they are simply too terrified of what they might find there. Lies are a buffer, that's why the world is so full of them. It's perfectly logical, what kind of individual, in their right mind, would want to feel pain of any kind?
I can tell you exactly what I have written in my eyes...and I'm realizing that being happy is being unafraid to say it out loud. Being happy is taking who you are; every thought, flaw, dream...and being willing to see every opportunity for its possible worth.
My eyes will tell you exactly who I am if you're willing to look just a little deeper. You'll find a girl who makes sure the world knows she's strong...even when she's hurting, even when she loses sight of the little girl she's always held onto, even when she's afraid.
She's hurting because she wants to see more. She's every bit of the dreamer she was when she was little. Magic and immortality are real, they just don't mean fairies and spells anymore. She's afraid that she'll always be alone because it's all she's ever known.
None of that means that I can't be happy, I'm not afraid to tell the world because I have to believe that as I learn from everything I have been blessed to see and do that things DO change. No one and nothing can stop me from being happy as long as I believe in who I am. I am who I am. I am blessed. I am a dreamer. I am a writer. I am a poet. I am a student. I am a friend. I am a daughter and a sister. I am stubborn, occasionally impatient. I am free and hopeful. I am honest to a fault. Each of us are composed of a unique combination of traits and talents. A beautiful mosaic all our own. Be proud. Be alive. Be happy.
"You are unrepeatable. There is a magic about you that is All you own."
I didn't start saying "Perfectly Imperfect" for nothing. In the grand scheme of things, it's just a fancy way of saying be yourself; honestly...without hesitation...perfectly. Oh, and of course...happily.
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